Creative Love
How Creativity Keeps Our Fires Burning
As new parents, and creatives, I wondered how we would juggle all of our roles… How would we carve out time for our art practice and our budding relationship with work and parenthood?
Some would say we were still in the honeymoon phase…. freshly two years in, it seems like our relationship has been on the fast track since we started dating in late 2019. Come early 2020, we were navigating our new long distance relationship amid the initial COVID outbreak, (I don’t have to explain to you - anywhere in the world - you know what this means!) Our option?…We chose to move in together, and brave the lockdown as a unit. Flash forward to now and we are raising our almost 9 month old son, while striving everyday to keep the flames bright. One way that helps us is a method we started, called ‘Creative Days’. On Mondays, Shawn gets to focus on his music and I take the lead with Kingston. On Wednesdays he does the same for me, while I focus on writing. We’ve named the days ‘Music Mondays’ & ‘Writing Wednesdays’. On breaks we help each other reset and prepare meals. I must admit, it has taken some time to lean into, and still, takes work; the distractions at home are real and constant, but we push each other to stay focused.
A challenge for both of us has been feeling the pressure of just one day; wanting to be explorative in our creative practice, but also wanting to get stuff done. It’s hard for your brain and heart to work like that, trying to be creative on a schedule. I remind myself that just practicing is enough, write something - anything. I’ve learned to take notes, when inspiration hits me randomly and I’m in the middle of something, jot it down. Shawn does the same, always bopping around the house making voice notes. We’ve added some bonus hours on ‘Freedom Fridays’ for emails, rest, or overflow from our Creative Days. We find it also takes the pressure off, knowing you have a little back-up time.
Space to really lock in and work on our craft is the greatest gift we can give one another. Valuing and nurturing each others’ artistry is something we both hold sacred; after all, we met as collaborators! What I have noticed, is this exuberant feeling that the creative parent expresses. Many hugs, kisses and praises for the other parent. That feeling of being understood and celebrated by your partner is so attractive and makes us appreciate one another deeply. Since implementing this system, I’ve seen such an improvement in our moods. Through the exhaustion of parenthood, we find more space and clarity. Our dynamic as a team has strengthened, and our desire to do for one another has increased.
If you had a consistent block of time to focus on something really important, what would you use it for? Let’s give YOU a creative day; unadulterated moments to focus on your dreams.
Here are my top tips for implementing Creative Days with your partner (especially if you have kids).
1.) Come up with a schedule and share it with your partner including working blocks and breaks. Managing your expectations and vocalizing them is key.
2.) Be flexible with your own flow. Work in time blocks to allow yourself to sink into an idea.
3.) Create an easy meal plan. We do simple foods like: oatmeal in the morning, sandwiches in the afternoon and lentils for dinner. Sometimes I make a big meal on Sundays that carries over; less time is spent in the kitchen and more time is spent creating.
4.) Who ever’s creative day it is, they are the facilitating parent. So before I sit down to write, I make sure Shawn has everything he needs with Kingston. The better I facilitate, the smoother and more focused my creative journey is.
We’ve been working at this for the last few months and when using these thoughtful methods, we have been so successful, and so in love! Feeding our creative expression fuels & nourishes us, and we are better for it… better people, better partners, better parents.
Draw upon the infinite.
~Khadija
